Honeymoon Suite
by Monisse
Summary: After all these years she still had him wrapped around her finger. Right now, in a far more literal way than ever. - Rachel and Jesse wake up to find that their lives had turned into an awfully ironic cliché.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Honeymoon Suite**  
****Pairing:** Rachel/Jesse  
**Time line:** Future Fic  
**Rating:** M (It will get heavy)  
**Acknowledgments: **First to MissElliexXxXx who allowed me to use one of her one shorts ( Shuffle Story #6) as inspiration to this chapter. That short story really worked on my mind and made it come up with a continuation. Then to Tania for being my first source of feedback and the one who helped organize ideas to write, as well as giving me inspiration, and last but not least to Junior for being my support system when I lack perspective.  
**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters. Flashbacks of what lead the characters to this night will be featured in the upcoming chapters.

_I will do anything you want, but hold me forever. Be a nightmare in my sleep, scare me forever. Like a bullet in my soul, kill me forever. All the lies I have sold to you are sour thorns in my mouth._

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Warmth. It was all she could feel at the moment. Warmth and a numbing ache all over her body. Even with her eyes closed she was aware of the brightness of the place, large windows welcomed the early morning's sun. But that was not the only natural warmth she experienced. As the fog of sleep slowly came down she realized her small body was currently wrapped around another body. A very masculine body. Her lips curled into a lazy smile, still not fully grasping the situation in that state of mind between sleep and awake. She shifted slowly, never opening her eyes in the process, and delighted herself with the delicious friction her skin created with the other one. A pair of arms enveloped, brought her impossibly closer, and his voice murmured something strangely similar to her name close to her ear.

She opened her eyes for the first time that morning, and a rush of brightness and headache assaulted her. A free hand came up to rub her eyes and help them adjust to the light that invaded the room. The sight before her was surprising. There were empty bottles nearby, that did much to clarify the throbbing ache in her head, and clothes were scattered all over the floor.

The other body shifted beneath her own. Her eyes traveled up from the well built chest, where her head had been previously lying upon, until they landed into a mess of brown curls. Wide eyes stared at him, and heart started to beat uncontrollably in her chest.

His eyes opened fully and locked with hers. For a long while she stared into the blue eyes that haunted her dreams for so many years. _His _blue eyes.

Her mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out in the shocked haze. He had yet to say anything, for he stared at her in the same confused manner, albeit less surprised than she was.  
The breath she had been holding was then released into the form of a sharp whispering of his name.

"Jesse?"

"Rachel?" He murmured in a hoarse voice filled with sleep. His eyes blinked as if trying to understand if the sight before him was just another cruel dream or actual reality.

In a rush she pushed her hands against his chest and pulled out from his inviting warmth. With her motion, he fell against the pillows once more and she shied away from him, to the other side of the bed. Her hands clutched the sheet around her, in a modest attempt to keep some sort of dignity, even after realizing that they had been both naked underneath it just a few seconds ago.

He rubbed his face with a hand that undoubtedly ended up crossing his curls. It was a movement she was used to, it was as natural to him as his singing voice. Apparently it was a vice he hadn't lost over the years. That single careless action did nothing but infuriate her furthermore. It was only then that she noticed that she had pushed most part of the sheet with her and he was now fully exposed. A deep blush crept up her face in contrast to the whiteness around her.

With careful movements he rose from the bed and looked around the luxurious suite. The sight of his naked body caused heat to pool lower down in her body. He shouldn't have had that effect on her, as if she was still an inexperienced teenager, fascinated by the handsome boy with the golden voice. She was not. Not anymore. But her body didn't seem to accompany her thoughts, because as he moved along the room, presumably trying to find his clothes, his well defined muscles accompanied every movement with a sensual fluidity that had her lick her lips with a new wave of desire.

"I can see that we drank last night." He said matter-of-factly, reaching out for his boxers that lay close to her very expensive dress.

"You think?" She asked with sarcasm and ended up wincing at the volume of her own voice. He chuckled and looked at her from across the room, already dressed enough for her to maintain her eyes only locked into his.

He stared at her in a calm manner, as if the predicament in which they had found each other in that morning didn't concert him in the least. It made her linger somewhere between anger and bewilderment. But something else swam in his eyes, an emotion she wasn't completely unaware when it came to him, at least all some years ago, but that she craved frequently in her daily life. It was adoration. He was currently looking at her as if she was the most beautiful woman in the world, messed hair and all. The intensity in his eyes, and the soft smile upon his lips was enough to make her avert her eyes and stare at the suddenly interesting folds of the sheet.

"What do you think happened?" He asked.

"I don't know." She answered softly, not allowing her eyes to reach for him. "I can't remember."

But it wasn't exactly the entire truth. In her mind, even in between the piercing headache, she remembered nearly everything with crystal clearness. Those memories scared her; they were too fragile to be spoken aloud. The real question was: Did _he_ remember anything?

Either way, she chose to lie, chose to burry those lustful images deep in her mind, along with all the words of worship he spoke to her in the darkness of night. They barely knew each other anymore, if she had ever known his real self at all. All the heartache she had experienced with him was still an open wound she carried around in her heart. A single night of passion wouldn't be enough to mend it.

With a sigh she reached for his button up shirt and put it on, an action that didn't go unnoticed by neither of them as particularly intimate. She found her lace panties close by and dressed them on her way to the bathroom.

It didn't take long until an earsplitting scream echoed in the four walls of the suite, and she came running out of the bathroom with a panicked expression all over her face.

"What? What's wrong?" He had reached for her, and suddenly his hands were closed in her shoulders, attempting to calm her down.

She didn't say anything at first, only looked at him with frenzy in her eyes. Then, she raised her left hand directly in front of his face.

"This was _not_ on my finger last night." She said in the calmest voice she could muster. Sure enough, a small star shaped diamond shone in the morning light from a white gold band in her finger.

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There will be more to come! Reviews are one of the best ways to express love, so I would like to hear your opinions.


	2. Chapter 2

'_Breathe, St. James, breathe.' _He told himself as if it was a mantra to calm down. He stared at the shinning ring in her hand and beyond that, her large doe eyes shone with fury. For the first time in his life he was utterly speechless and Jesse St. James never lacked words, or songs for that matter, to express his feelings. Maybe he should sing about it, his voice never let him down in awkward circumstances, but the glare she was addressing him made him think twice about his actions. He feared she would slap him as soon as the first note left his lips and leave a mark with that beautiful brand new wedding band of hers.

A wedding band. _'What have I done?'_ He asked himself.

The irony of the situation wasn't lost on him. He was now married to the one and only Rachel Berry, the girl he left broken with egg shells for company in a parking lot. The girl who had teased his wildest dreams with her long soft hair, large eyes and a voice bigger than herself.

He looked at her now as she looked back at him, expectantly. There was a soft afterglow all over her face and in the little bit of teasing skin in her chest that his shirt left uncovered. Although the look in her eyes was scary enough to keep any sane man away, he stood mesmerized with her. All the emotions played freely in her eyes, or maybe it was just the easiness he had to read her like an open book. She had always been so open to him, trusting him with her heart.

"It seems that I have good taste to pick up wedding rings." He let out before he could restrain his smug self from surfacing.

In a fraction of a second his cheek stung, badly. As soon as he answered, the hand that had been previously floating in from of his face collided with his cheek, leaving a bitter remainder of its passage. He nursed his wounded face with a hand and looked at her incredulously.

"I was just trying to lighten up the mood, there's no need to be aggressive." He mumbled.

"Well, don't. We can't stay married!" Her voice came out in a little squeal of irritation, which made her look all the more adorable in his eyes.

He straightened his body and flashed a side grin towards her as he walked away.

"Why not?" He asked nonchalantly, busying himself finding his clothes. He was quite sure he was risking another deathly slap in the face, but when he looked up from the corner of his eyes towards her, she was still in the place he had left her, eyes wide and mouth agape.

With much effort he muffled a laugh at her dramatic reaction. The fact that she was more concerned about their supposed marriage instead of the detail that they had clearly slept together, without much sleep involved, only added to the hilarity of the situation. Same old unapologetically delusional Rachel.

It sure wasn't the end of the world, was it? After all it was just an express marriage, it was not as if he had paid courtship and proposed to her. Or did he? The details were still hazy in his mind, after all, if the bottles scattered all over the room were any indication, they had a little too much to drink. But what he couldn't erase from his memory was the feeling of her skin against him during the long hours of the night. She had melted against him, so natural and adoring, so passionate and uninhibited. Just now, he longed to experience it all over again, this time completely aware of his boundaries and actions.

He remembered their long conversation previously to the moment when words weren't enough to express everything that was going through their souls. He remembered how a little bit of alcohol was enough to make him talk endlessly and pour out his deepest regrets towards her. It seemed like a terrible mistake at the light of the day, but in the comforting calm of the night he had let go of his arrogant self and finally came to terms with the wrongs he had done to her.

And then… then it was all a confusion of limbs and fabric. Hands that traveled over his body as if they knew where to pleasure him the most. He had given up to her without much struggle, for he had been dreaming about that moment for longer than he could remember.

But that was last night, and now, at the light of the day, she was looking annoyed and suggesting that their marriage was not acceptable. Clearly, his attempt of humor didn't make him fall in her good graces.

"We have to do something!" She pleaded to him.

He gathered his clothes together and stood straight to look at her from the distance. There she was at the center of the room, trusting him to solve the mess they had awoken to. Her chest rose and fell with the frustrating breaths she took, and every time she did, the hem of his dress shirt would rise up some inches along her round tights. Even now, with a certain distance between them, he could feel the strong power she held over him. He shifted uncomfortably in his spot and made sure his eyes were only above her neck line.

He had asked himself early if she would remember something, anything from their escapade from the conventional world last night, and with pain in his chest he had acknowledged that nothing, absolutely nothing had registered in her mind.

It made him irrationally angry at her. How could she forget the things that had transpired between them last night, even though there was a large dose of alcohol to blame? His head pounded with the atrocity of his hangover, but it still didn't hurt as much as his feelings did. He figured out that fate had played some kind of twisted joke on him, making him pour his heart and body out just to have her forget everything in the morning.

'_It serves me right.' _He thought, still ashamed of his acts from long ago.

"This is your entire fault, St. James." She spat angrily at him.

"My fault?" He laughed ironically at her. Leave it to her to place all the blame on someone else. "Then what do you suggest we do, Miss St. James?" He threw back at her in a jocose tone.

"A divorce." And the words came out so loud that everything after that seemed to stand still in comparison. Silence took the space between them and neither moved for a long while.

"Very well." He sighed in defeat, humor long gone from his voice. "But just so we're clear, it was your idea all along."

She threw her hands in the air in frustration and let them fall to her sides with a sigh of defeat leaving her full lips. Her bottom lip trembled and tears pooled in her eyes. He wanted to cross the distance between them, hold her in his arms once again and whisper in her ear that everything would be alright. But he couldn't. That would only complicate things furthermore, and that was the least she needed now, the ring on her hand was enough to send her into a spiraling panic. So he stood in his spot, awkwardly clutching clothes in his hands.

Her head dropped low, the sight of the little lost girl he had once known, and he had to make an effort to understand her next words.

"I want to go home." She murmured sadly.

"I'll take you to the airport." The words left his lips and as soon as it happened, he knew that he would probably be greeted by an endless argument on how she could manage it by herself. He knew that perfectly well, but the only thing he wanted was to spend a few more minutes with her.

"And we'll deal with this later." He finally added.

To his surprise, she nodded silently in agreement.

She picked her dress and shoes from the floor, and silently walked out of his suite in the direction of hers, bare foot and still clad in his shirt.

He watched her leave; got himself dressed and packed his baggage with a lot more than he came with.

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Thank you so much for the ones that reviewed the last chapter! I hope you liked this second one as well. Some more thoughts?


	3. Chapter 3

Here's a new chapter, this time longer and with more character interaction. Next chapters will contain flashbacks from **_that_** night. I want to thank everyone who read and reviewed so far, you've been very supportive!

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The long ride to the airport was made in uncomfortable silence; all the way she had avoided looking at him by staring out of the window into the tall buildings of the city.

When the cab arrived at the departures door she made a motion to pay for it, but he shook his head and paid for her instead. As a woman, she adored chivalry in a man, but in her current state of mind not even the kindest gesture in the world could lift her mood. She mumbled her gratitude under her breath and extracted herself from the cab. He did the same and went to retrieve their bags. As it became apparent when he knocked early on her suite door, suitcase in hand ready to accompany her, he would be returning to Los Angeles that day and she would take a plane back home, in the complete opposite direction, to New York.

"I'm going to book our flights, ok?" He asked softly, all the while carrying both their bags.

She followed silently after him and watched as he approached the balcony and purchased both tickets. It was the least he could do, paying for her ticked. After all, it was because of him that she had ended up with a ring around her finger, he might as well be courteous enough to send her home. For a fraction of a second her chest tightened with sadness that overshadowed her anger.

"Here's your ticket, first class of course." He said extending the piece of paper to her.

She only nodded and smiled briefly in appreciation, not trusting her voice to answer him, least he could read the immense turmoil of emotions running wild inside of her. After the check-in of their luggage was made in their respective balconies, both stood in the ample hall of the airport, watching people come and go unaware of the chaos inside of the two figures standing beside each other in silence.

"We should go to the waiting room, it will be a while until our flights." His voice sounded distant, but hopeful in the silence that had settled between them.

"You don't have to accompany me, I'm sure your gate must be on the other side of the building." She said softly. The words that she spoke aloud barely had any similarity to the truth that screamed in her head. The reality was that, even though she was in a state of confusion and slight annoyance, she still wanted to savor the last minutes she had with him, even if they would be spent in silence.

"I don't want to leave you alone." He answered sincerely.

She rolled her eyes good naturedly in spite of herself. "I'm not a child anymore, Jesse."

"I know." He smirked to himself, because if he had learned something last night, it was that she was definitely far from being a child.

They walked towards the waiting room and found two seats close to the window. Outside the sun was shining in the strip as the planes took off into the distance. They sat there in silence for a while, neither knowing what to say to the other without receiving a rude or smug response.

"I think…" He started. "I think that once we're home we'll be able to address this situation more clearly and…"

"There's nothing to think about." Her voice interrupted him abruptly.

"What do you mean?"

She sighed and turned towards him in the chair. "Look, I don't know you and you certainly don't know me. It's been a long time since we've met and we surely didn't part ways in the best way possible."

It was purely the truth, enough years had passed by between them and still so much had been left unsaid. He had never spoken to her again, disappeared from her life as if he had never been a part of it in the first place.

"But, Rachel…" His soft voice pierced through her thoughts.

"Stop, Jesse. Nothing you'll say right now will erase the way you made me feel back then."

The memories he left behind were bittersweet. Back then she had nursed the pieces of her shattered heart with the illusion of a perfect romance. The painful truth became apparent as the years passed; she had never forgiven him because he had been the only one that she completely trusted with her heart, only to have him break it in the end.

He looked at her, as if addressing the extent of the veracity of her speech, and under his intense blue gaze she felt small and vulnerable.

"You really don't remember anything from last night, do you?" He asked in a murmur.

"No." The word came out in the form of a sharp whisper. She might as well just push him away as farther as she could now before they got involved again. Never mind if her heart screamed in agony at her actions, in her mind she was sure he would always bring her heart ache.

"I see that some things never change, you're still the same stubborn Rachel Berry." He shook his head in defeat. "As you wish, I'll take care of the paperwork." It seemed that this girl, no, young women, was the only human being in the face of the earth able to undress him of his usually conceited persona. After all these years and maybe because he owned her that much, she still had him wrapped around her finger. Right now, in a far more literal way than ever.

"Thank you." She said with a trembling voice, all the while running her hand through the curls of her long hair, a characteristic gesture when she was under stress. In a matter of hours they would both part their ways, still with so many things left unsaid, so many issues to be addressed, specially the state of their relationship, or lack of it. He had promised everything would be solved and a small part inside her believed him in spite of their past.

He would be back home without hearing how he had made her feel that night. How he had awaken sensations in her body she didn't know were possible. How safe she had felt in his embrace, in spite of the haze of their drinking. She couldn't gather the courage to tell him she remembered everything. Oh and how she remembered… But their situation was so complicated, how could she trust him again with her true feelings? After all, it's been a long time.

Several minutes passed in silence and she could sense him getting restless in his seat. He then rose with a fluid motion and addressed her in a voice he had attempted to make calm and collected.

"I'm going to go grab something to eat, do you want anything?"

"No." She said severely, averting her eyes from his and busying herself looking out of the large windows of the airport.

Without another word he walked away from the very turbulent girl.

From the glass reflection she watched him walk away from her, his body motion no longer straight and confident as it once was. Now his hands were shoved in the pocket of his jeans, his shoulders down and his eyes fixed in the floor, as if it would grant him resolution to all his problems.

Alone, she was able to contemplate the mess she was immersed in. Everything had happened too fast and she couldn't grasp where it had all begun, or where and when it would end. Just yesterday she was a young, successful woman, especially single, and now, in a wicked twist of fate, she was a scared, married girl. And being scared was the least of all the emotions she was experiencing.

Looking back on her life, her very dramatic fueled life, she couldn't recall a moment when she had been so lost and experiencing so many contradicting emotions. She wanted to cry in horror for what had happened and yet, she wanted to laugh with the irony of the situation.

Analyzing the circumstances she tried to understand the source of each emotion. She was mad that she had let herself go in such a reckless abandon, drunk beyond her mind, and had ended up being the star alongside him in a low budget cliché. _Him_. Of all the people walking the face of the earth, she had to end up marrying him in her inebriated state?

"Well, Rachel Berry, that's irony for you." She murmured to herself. "You spent years trying to avoid the only man that could hurt you beyond measure, and you end up marrying him."  
She chuckled humorlessly. "What a terrible mess."

She searched for her phone dialed a known number. After a few rings she heard a soft voice coming from the other side of the line.

"Hey, Rachel! I thought you would be in Vegas, partying and forgetting the rest of the world exists. Is anything wrong?"

"Oh Kurt, I don't even know where to begin. Something happened…" She sighed.

"What? Are you ok?" The voice in the other side was filled with genuine concern.

"I think so… I don't know!" She answered back. "I got married last night."

For a while only silence filled the call, and then a rampage of high pitched laughter erupted across the line, all the way from the other side of the country.

"Ok, that was fun. Now tell me what is really happening." He said between laughs. She could tell by now he was probably cleaning the tears that formed in the corner of his eyes from laughing too hard, which didn't help but made her rage surface again.

"I advise you to refrain from laughing until I tell you who my husband is." She threw at him bitterly.

"I can't believe you did such a thing! Were you _that_ drunk?" More laughter. "Well then, who is the lucky one?"

She took a long, shaking breath and let it out in a single motion in the form of his name. "Jesse St. James."

Suddenly, all the laughter stopped and there was only silence on the line once again. After a long time his voice came back, this time all signs of humor were over and a heavy seriousness laced his words.

"Tell me this is a joke. Tell me you are not married to that man." He pleaded.

"I wish it was a joke, Kurt. But today I woke up with this beautiful wedding ring on my finger." And as she spoke the words to her friend, her fingers played absentminded with the band. The white gold band weight in her finger was just a reminder of her lack of judgment.

He then laughed uncontrollably once more at the irony of the situation and she had to make an effort not to succumb into self-pity laughter as well.

"Rachel Berry, I'm extremely disappointed with you. I can't believe I wasn't there to plan your wedding." He said in mocking seriousness. "Or to see your shocked face in the morning." And more laughter came through the phone.

"Well, you can still plan a divorce party!" She yelled into the phone loud enough to receive some curious looks from the people standing nearby in the waiting room of the airport.

He chuckled, ignoring her dramatic temper. "How did you manage to find yourself in that awful cliché, little miss perfect?" His words might have been sarcastic, but through the years she learned to read between the lines and see the true meaning when he spoke.

"It seems that a lot of alcohol and a few mellow words did the trick." A sigh. "Kurt, this is a serious matter. I can't stay married to him!" She whispered forcefully. "What should I do?"

In that moment she thanked all high powers and lucky stars that she had kept in touch with him. It turned out, that what was once a spiteful battle of dominance for the spotlight in their glee club, masked a deep admiration for one another. They soon discovered that despite the entire masked exterior they allowed the others to see, deep inside they were very much alike. Two incredibly talented beings, lonely in their individual spotlights. It was he who had stayed beside her, drying her tears when her first auditions failed, or when her relationships ended. Likewise, she had extended him the same courtesy, until they had forged a strong friendship and became each other's support.

"I don't know my dear, but you can always consider a divorce." He spoke in a soft voice, as if talking to a frightened child. "If that's what you want."

She didn't know what she wanted anymore. Everything, every emotion clouded her mind and impaired her from making a clear and detached decision. She had told him, her _husband_, that she wanted a divorce as soon as possible. She had in fact thrown those words at him in the most venous way possible.

'_Is that what I really want?'_ She asked herself. Sure, the situation was uncanny and occurred for all the wrong reasons, but she couldn't put aside the feelings that cursed through her last night.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she spotted the curly haired figure that walked in her direction and, for a fraction of a second, all the frustration that had been bottling over the last few minutes seemed to disappear.

"I've got to go, I'll talk to you as soon as I'm home." She spoke softly into the phone, and with kind words and a promise to speak soon coming from the other side, she closed her phone and waited as he approached.

He stood in front of her and extended his arm, in his hand there was a cup of coffee.

"I thought you would want some." He said in a soft voice, indicating with a small swing of his hand for her to take it.

She eyed the cup for a while, weighting the pros and cons of such a peace offering. It was just coffee, nothing else, just the warm beverage she craved the most in moments like these. So she reached for the cup, their fingers brushed slightly, and with a blush tainting her face she thanked him.

Her hands wrapped around the cup in an attempt to occupy herself. From the corner of her eye she saw him take a seat beside her and rest his head on his hands with a sigh.

A sting of regret pierced her and in that moment she didn't want anything else than to take away the harsh words she had been addressing to him ever since they woke up. Instead, she remained silent, nursing her own hurt feelings deep inside.

She bought the cup to her lips and took a sip from the beverage. A thousand sensations washed over as the dark liquid warmed her. She couldn't believe that he still remembered her favorite coffee from all those years ago. Sure enough, her tastes had changed along the years, but the fact that he still remembered was enough to bring back memories of her high school years. And as she savored it, she thought about the boy, now a man, and the painful reality drowned to her.

She was now married to the one who caused many of those memories, memories as bitter as the coffee she was tasting.

Minutes turned into hours and silence still hang heavy over them. After a while the boarding time for her plane arrived and she stood up from her seat next to him.

"I have to go." She simply said.

"I know." He whispered, standing up as well. "I'll contact you soon."

She nodded. No words could describe the profound sadness she felt in that moment, a bittersweet feeling all over her heart. Earlier, she had been eager to go home, to stay away from him, as if returning to the big apple would make everything seem like it was before she left. As if it would all had been a dream. A dream she wasn't completely sure if was pleasant or not. But now, scarce minutes away from saying goodbye, maybe for the last time, she didn't want to leave.

Her arms itched with desire to embrace him but they remained firmly holding her purse. She would not relinquish control to her confusing emotions.

With a simple nod of the head, her lips closed into a thin line, preventing a sob from escaping them. She walked away in the direction of the gate leaving him standing behind looking longingly at her.

Before crossing the gate she looked towards him over her shoulder one last time. Her left hand came up and drew a shy wave of goodbye. In her finger, the white band still shone proudly.

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Thoughts?


	4. Chapter 4

This is the chapter where the flashback to what started the events of that night takes place. Enjoy!

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With a heavy heart, she sat in her place waiting patiently for the plane to take off. She closed her eyes and let her mind wander off in time and to the events of that night.

What had really bought her there in the first place was the wedding of a dear friend. She had been invited as a guest to the ceremony that would take place in Las Vegas. At the time of the news she had laughed at her friend, saying that only the most tasteless couples would marry there. But after a while, she agreed, because in spite of her convictions it would still be her friend's special day and her opinions didn't matter in comparison to her friendship. As a result she opted for the best dress and showface she could.

The ceremony had been quite acceptable, far from the idea she had of a marriage in that city. Simple and with the happy couple exchanging their vows in a modest chapel filled with orchids. She felt happy for them, but couldn't set aside the idea that she also would have wanted that kind of happiness for herself.

It was the after party that started that whole chaos. When the lights of the reception room dropped to a minimum and the band took their instruments to play the first dance to the newlyweds, she saw him. At first she thought it was just an illusion, the low lights playing tricks with her eyes, but when he stepped into the only spot light at the microphone, she recognized him.

The soft brown curls, the light blue eyes, the cheeky smile were still the same, but he was slightly taller and slightly handsomer if that was possible. He was now a man, dressed in a fitting black suit. It seemed that he would be singing as her friend and her new husband crossed the hall and stood in the middle of the dancing floor.

It all looked so unrealistic; maybe she had gone insane once and for all. It was impossible for him to be there in the same wedding. But as soon as he opened his lips to sing, his perfect voice soared in the room and echoed along the walls, she knew it was real. He sang the words to a beautiful and gentle ballad as the bride and groom danced in tempo.

Fury bubbled inside of her and brought with it all the painful memories of her teen years. Looking straight at him made her heart burst. Every single feeling she had buried deep inside back then surfaced and burned in her eyes. How dare he stand there, without a single care in the world, when she had been carrying for years the scars he made on her?

But his voice, oh his voice, it seemed to make all her frustrations melt away at every single note, as it did back then. His voice had developed over the years and became more polished, and if she could say so, with a lot more heart in it. She wondered briefly what had changed in him, what troubles and circumstances had led him to sound less like a conceited teen and more like a soulful man.

She hoped that in the shadows of the low lights he wouldn't spot her in the crowd, but the universe had other plans for them tonight, and his eyes fell directly upon hers and the soft smile he had faltered for a second.

Their eyes locked for the remaining of the song, blue over dark brown. Suddenly, the lyrics were not only for the general entertainment of the guests but seemed to have a deeper meaning only known between the two of them.

The song came to an end in a flawless vibrato. The sound of clapping hands erupted in the room but neither of them joined in. He descended the steps of the small stage and walked in her direction. Panic assaulted her, but a tug in her arm captured her attention.

"Isn't he wonderful?" Her newly wedded friend asked, completely oblivious to her dread. She tried to absorb the information and with trembling words attempted to ask what he was doing there. Her friend didn't have time to answer, because her much in love husband had guided her towards the dance floor once more.

She was left alone and completely in the sight of the predator. It didn't take long before a tall figure made a shadow in front of her. Her back was turned away and even without looking she knew who was standing behind her.

"Rachel?" He asked tentatively.

In the flash of a second she was tempted to make a run towards the door and never look back, but she knew it would be childish of her. Drawing a deep breath she turned around to face him. Up close he seemed a lot more beautiful than just a few minutes ago. He had a large smile in his face, one that clearly touched his eyes, because they sparkled even in the dim lights of the room. She felt light headed under his gaze, his smile as sticking as the day she met him.

But something was different. He looked at her in a cheery manner as if they had been long time friends meeting again.

"Hello!" She said, and that single word was enough to make them cringe inside. His smile toned down a little, but his eyes were still piercing hers. "What are you doing here?" She attempted again.

"I came from the groom's part. You see, we went to college together and he asked me to sing at his wedding. You?"

"The bride's side. If I knew you would come I…"

"What?" He interrupted her, his lips no longer pulled into a smile. "Wouldn't have come?"

She chose to ignore his trap in the form of a question and proceeded to inform him of her resolution in a decisive tone.

"I think we can be civilized about this unlucky meeting. We should part ways to avoid any unnecessary conflict that would undoubtedly ruin this perfectly enjoyable evening." When her small speech ended she turned around and walked away with a small smile of accomplishment. She had always thought that when they met again, by some karmic incident, she would have had unleashed all her bottled anger on him. Only now, it seemed that the years had made her wise and more in control of herself.

"And act as if we had never met?" His voice seemed incredulous.

With her back to him only her face turned slightly over her shoulder, and then she spoke with honesty in a low, but clear voice.

"Sometimes I wish we never did." Without leaving further room for conversation she resumed her walk and went to seat back at her table, where the group of her friends chatted and drank animatedly.

Throughout the course of the night she drank and made light conversation with the surrounding people, all the while the cup in her hand was never empty. Still, the sparkling bubbles of the exquisite champagne didn't do much to erase the memory of her early encounter. Once in a while she would dare to look across the room in an attempt to find him. He had been sat alone at the bar, nursing a glass of scotch in his hand. In her eyes he seemed sad and crushed. She quickly brushed the thoughts of him from her mind and poured herself another glass. Her cheeks were already flaming, courtesy of the fine beverage she was now sipping.

Later in the night the single girls at her table were invited to the dance floor, one by one, and soon she was the only one left at the table, pouting like an adolescent without a date to the prom. Her loneliness didn't last long, because from the corner of her eye she could see someone already walking in the direction of her table.

"Care to dance?" He asked, smug grin perfectly in place.

She looked straight at him in disbelief. "You're asking me to dance, even after saying I regretted the day I met you?" She giggled uncontrollably. "You have quite the nerve…" To her ears her speech sounded slightly slurred and another fit of laughter bubbled out of her.

He smirked with humor, already quite cheerful as well. "What can I say? I'm a very stubborn guy." Then he extended his hand. "Shall we?"

It seemed that it only took a little bit of liquid courage for her to throw caution at the wind and slip her hand in his. As a matter of fact they were the only two people in the room without a partner to dance and she refused to be the only one left behind, even if it meant to share a dance with one Jesse St. James. Besides, in her current state of mind, no one could blame her for wanting to spend just a few minutes close to a very fine male specimen. So, without much resistance, she let his warm hand guide her in between the other couples until they occupied the center of the floor under the spotlights.

She chuckled. Of course they would always be under the spotlights. His arms enveloped her waist, her hands came up awkwardly to rest in his shoulders and as the slow melody filled the air, both swayed in accord.

"What made you come back and ask me to dance?" She asked with lively curiosity.

"A gentleman never leaves a lady alone." The answer came out in such a self-righteous tone that it made her giggle. "Still mad?" This time, his question was serious and dangerously close to her ear, making a shiver run through her.

"Don't be fooled by my cheerful exterior, St. James, I still hate you. I only accepted because I didn't want to be the only one left alone." She answered back, flashing him with one of her own smug grins.

"And because you're drunk." He added between laughter.

"No!" She yelled a little too loud, though the music was loud and no one else heard. "I'm still fully aware of my surroundings; especially how dangerously low your hands are in my back." It was meant as a teasing comment, and in cue, his hands came up, just so much he wouldn't be called indecent again, but not enough that refrained from feeling her curves.

"You are drunk too!" She accused, eyes wide and sparking with amusement.

"Just a little." And as he finished his hands brought her closer to his body. Their fronts were pressed tightly against one another and she could feel his well built torso even below his dress shirt.

The song morphed into another and then again. Neither pulled away nor attempted leave, so they remained enveloped in each other's arms, in silence, as their feet moved across the floor.

She didn't know if it was their overwhelming moves or all the glasses she had that night, but her head felt light and she had to rest her forehead in his chest. They were becoming more intimate with every note of the song, and somehow, she couldn't gather courage to care about it. The scent of his cologne invaded her nostrils, her eyes closed and her mind rested with ease.

"So," He whispered softly, only meaning for her to listen. "How has life been treating you?"

"Not so bad. How about you?" Her voice was equally soft.

"I can't complain." A pause. "I heard about your new show. Congratulations."

She lifted her head from his chest to take a look into his face. "Are you being sincere?"

Compliments didn't come easily from him, that much she knew was true, and hearing him convey free compliments was new to her. And because he was who he was, she doubted the truth of it.

"Absolutely!" Not a hint of scorn or hypocrisy on his face. Maybe he was telling the truth after all.

"Then thank you. It took a while, but I've finally made it." Right there, her smile had been genuine. "And you were quite good in your latest movie." She admitted.

"Thanks. It was not a blockbuster, but it was still good for my career."

She took a moment to appreciate the fact that he somewhat followed her career. It had been years since they had seen each other personally, but he had never forgotten her. But they were stars, more or less, and as fellow performers it was only natural that they tracked what was happening in the showbiz world.

But who were they kidding anyway? The only reason they kept tabs on each other was because they knew where they belonged, knew they would reach that sacred place, and yet, they still harbored a twisted obsession with each other, almost like a run to know who arrived at the top first. Only, somewhere along the line it stopped being a competition and started to be a secretive admiration.

In spite of herself she had wanted to stay in his arms and dance the night away, but one by one the couples were abandoning the floor, leaving them uncomfortably in the sight of gossiping ladies that looked intently at them.

"I think we're being the center of attention." She whispered into his ear, laughing afterwards.

"Tell me you're not enjoying it." He challenged her, smirk and all.

Instead of answering she just rolled her eyes in that way she used to in response to his self-assured nature and the arrogant thought that he knew her _that_ well. Not that it wasn't true, but the fact that he could predict her thought process unsettled her.

She extracted herself from his tight embrace and silently signaled towards her table in a clear sign of invitation to join her. Sure they had a past, a not so pleasing one, but for now and under her tipsy state, she could allow herself the benefit to forget the hurt and enjoy his company for a while.

As they walked back to her table he did a little detour to grab a brand new champagne bottle from a nearby table and she threw her head back in laughter.

They sat beside one another and she watched him pour too glasses for them. "Mister St. James, are you trying to get me even more drunk?"

At that he smiled. A particular devious turn of the lips that did nothing to hide his true intentions. "I don't see you complaining, Miss Berry."

She would hate to admit that their only productive conversations would be under the influence of alcohol, but it was resulting so far and would be hypocrite of her if she said she wasn't enjoying his attention a little too much.

As if the years had not passed, they fell into easy conversation and teasing. It faintly resembled the endless, but good natured arguments they used to have. Chatter and laughter ran fluidly, always accompanied by refills.

In the far corner of the room their mutual friends, freshly married, exchanged sweet gestures; she sat on his knee, he caressed her face, completely oblivious to the rest of the world.

"They seem happy don't you think?" She murmured while looking at the newlyweds thoughtfully.

He had to look over his shoulder to see what she had been referring to. It didn't take long until he returned to his early position, facing her, and shrugged casually. "Yeah. I guess marriage does that to people. Ringing bells and thrown bouquets seem to have an euphoric effect on simpler minds."

"I've used to want it too." That statement seemed oddly sad even to her ears. Had she been drinking that much already that her previous witty words had turned into admitting her deepest secrets, even to him? _Especially_ to him.

"Past tense?" He seemed surprised.

She chuckled humorlessly, taking another swing at her beverage. "A lot of things in my life seem to be in the past tense."

"Rachel…" Her name in his lips sounded awfully between a warning and a plea.

All of a sudden her name was enough to bring gravity back to her and she found herself eager to interrogate him, to know once and for all if he had been left just as affected as she had.

"Do you have something to tell me, Jesse? Maybe something you should have said a while back?"

Maybe she had been a little selfish by turning all the blame to him, after all she hadn't been quite the saint in their relationship either. Then again, she had apologized for her mistakes back then, something he hadn't been man enough to do.

He nodded his head in understanding. Maybe her lack of decorum wasn't so bad after all.

"I want to apologize, for everything."

She shook her head adamantly. "You can't waltz back into my life and expect me to forgive you in a heartbeat. It's not that simple."

"It can be if you want. It's been a long time now; I was reckless and selfish back then. Life forced me to grow up and understand the consequences of my acts."

"I was a foolish girl back then as well, but what you did still hurt beyond measure."

He seemed to interiorize her words and nodded gently. "Do you think you'll be able to forgive me someday?" So hopeful.

"Maybe." She said a little too quickly, attempting to change conversation, before they would have to go through hurtful memories. "For now be a gentleman and bring us something more to drink as we talk, I'm rather curious about your climb to fame in the City of Angels."

The hours passed and the room became empty. Suddenly they were the only ones left, still sat at the table, faces dangerously closed to each other in their inebriation. She had just finished narrating the incredible tale of her first Broadway audition, where she had entered through the wrong door, only to find out later that room had been auditioning for a chorus line of semi naked school girls. When the director asked for her to take the shirt off, because apparently they were casting the biggest breasts in town, she stormed out, but not before a definitive 'I don't think this show can handle my immense _talent_'. She had left the building mortified, never coming back to audition for the original play. Of course, the story had led him to uncontrollable laughter.

"Oh Rachel," He said gasping for hair. "I had almost forgotten how similar our drama queen fits are."

"But of course! We're perfect for each other." She admitted between a hysterical fit of loud laugher, dismissing the veracity of her words.

"You know what we should do?" She added jokingly in the middle of her laughs. "We should marry too!"

"What? I'm not that drunk." He said among delirious laughter as well.

Her mouth opened in mocked shock. "Are you insinuating that you would only marry me if you were sufficiently drunk?"

"No, it's not like that." He rushed to reassure her.

They were too far gone and their minds were too intoxicated to register the weight of their actions. She stood up, taking a while to adjust, for the world seemed to spin in her head. Once she was sure she wouldn't fall down and embarrass herself in front of him, she walked sassy enough towards the exit of the room.

"I dare you…" And as she stepped away, she sang the words that would undo him, because she knew that if there was something in this world that Jesse St. James never passed was a good challenge. Admittedly, in that moment she didn't expect him to take it seriously.

What happened next was so unexpected that even now she had trouble comprehending. In a heartbeat he grabbed her hand and pulled her along the way and into a small chapel.

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Any thoughts? Thanks for the reviews so far. It really keeps me going!


	5. Chapter 5

Another chapter with a flashback, this time the reason why this story is rated M. Enjoy!

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After the long flight she finally arrived to the busy city. She breathed the air of New York City, suddenly glad to be back home. Her hand reached inside her purse to extract the cell phone and typed a quick message to her best friend, letting him know she had just arrived, and then took a cab ride to her place.

There was silence all over the apartment, a remarkable contrast with the chaos in the streets outside. Her suitcase was left in her room and the clothes she had been wearing all day were, one by one, discarded on the floor on her way to the bathroom. All she craved at the moment was a long, warm bubble bath to ease her mind and the throbbing headache she had.

Once she immersed herself in the tub she felt her body release a part of the tension she had been carrying around all day. It felt good and her muscles relaxed immediately as she allowed the water to embrace her naked body.

The stillness of the room seemed to maximize the volume of her thoughts, for she found herself drifting to a moment, not many hours ago, that made her body shiver under the hot water.

In the blink of an eye they had been all over each other. They stumbled frantically out of the elevator and made their way through the empty corridor. She grabbed handfuls of his shirt in closed fists and backed him against his suite door forcefully. Her lips assaulted his neck and dropped hungry kisses all over the soft skin exposed. While her lips savored his skin, he had to make a strong effort not to give into her lustful ministrations and just focus on attempting to open the door. For a few seconds he struggled with the key, but when the door finally opened they stumbled inside bursting into laughter. And then there were no more sounds except for their breaths and moans in the silence of the room. His mouth attacked hers, hungry with desire and filled with lust. He bit her lower lip teasingly, receiving a surprised gasp from her, and in that moment his tongue darted out to caress hers. A shiver ran through her and the remains of coherent thoughts vanished from her mind as she reciprocated eagerly, tasting the lips she hadn't touch since she was a naive adolescent.

Now, she was far from innocent and showed how much by the way her devious hands roamed over his chest and pulled impatiently at the buttons of his shirt. After the last button, she pushed the shirt off his shoulders and down his arms, revealing a pair of incredibly toned arms and a built chest.

He soon grew impatient, or maybe a little intimidated by her demonstration of dominance, and used the full front of his body to pin her against the door. The delicious pressure of his tall body against her small one made a low and animalistic moan fall from her lips. She could feel him all over her, and was delightfully aware of his desire for her. He took over by planting open mouthed kisses on her neck, and while her hands lost themselves in his beautiful curls, his own hands roamed over her curves painfully slow, but pleasantly nonetheless.

Without warning, he stopped his ministrations abruptly, and even though she complained with a whimper, his eyes remained fixed on hers. It seemed that a flash of sobriety had processed him and he stared at her eyes, as if asking for permission to do all the things he had wanted to do to her a long time ago. In retrospect, she should probably have taken that moment to collect herself and stop that maddening cascade of events, but the pull he exerted on her was too strong to fight. And quite frankly, she didn't want to fight anymore in that moment, only love. She followed her instincts then, and maybe she would regret it in the morning, but that night would be theirs alone to have.

Without hesitation her lips collided with his again in a languid kiss, making sure he understood her answer. His arms enveloped her again and pulled her away from the door. They nearly fell to the floor in the haste to be closer to the bed, but his strong arms kept her secured against him. Her lips made a path from his mouth, down his neck and arrived at his ample chest, where she took the time to gently kiss all the tiny freckles he had there. In the back of her mind, she faintly noticed that their pace had toned down quite a bit in comparison to their previous fiery consumption at the door. Both had understood what that situation meant, a once in a lifetime opportunity, and that in any other circumstance they wouldn't have been able to allow themselves to lose sight of reality like that and simply enjoy the moment.

Her hands kept traveling lower down his body until they encountered the zipper of his pants, worked it open and pushed them down. He made quick work of his other garments, leaving only his underwear on. Deciding that she was still overly dressed, his hands pulled on the zipper of her dress, and with gentleness pushed the straps over her shoulders, leaving the article of clothing to pool at her feet. His eyes shone in the darkness as he took an admiring look at her figure. For a second she felt exposed, but his gaze alone told her there was nothing to be ashamed of.

She felt his hands wrap themselves around her waist, bringing her closed to the heat and pleasure of his own body. For the first time in her life, she felt an electrifying sensation run all through her body as their overheated skins touched. She had been with other man before, but there was something in him that always brought up undiscovered sensations in her, even in the time where she was still oblivious to the carnal pleasures.

His soft lips were on her yet again, and they seemed to never want to leave, wanting more and more of her. With firm hands he pulled her up from the ground, and her arms and legs immediately held onto him, a motion that made their bodies collide in a delicious friction and had both gasp with delight. She felt herself being gently carried to the bed and placed above the fine white linens.

From her position in the bed she had a privileged view of him above. He supported the weight of his body in his arms and admired her taking his time to commit that moment to memory. Impatient as always, she grabbed his face and brought it closed to hers for another lip lock. With the forceful movement he let the weight of his body fall into hers, and she felt amazing under him for the first time in that night. Their skins melted like liquid fire and their bodies moved at their own accord. Hands brushed sensitive skin, tempting, teasing, and eliciting breath taking responses that made one go further in giving pleasure to the other.

He suddenly sat straight in the bed, at her feet, and she wondered briefly if she had done something wrong to pull him away. But he had other intentions in his mind. He pulled her right foot up and carefully removed her high heel, throwing it over his shoulder without shame. A warm kiss was planted in her ankle which made his name fall from her lips in a delirious fashion. His lips curved in the same spot in a smirk and he derived his attention to the other ankle. Once her shoes had been removed he busied himself by trailing a line of small kisses up her leg until he reached the underside of her round tight. She held her breath as he passed by the center of her yearning and continued his ministrations through her stomach, chest and neck, where he stopped and whispered lowly into her ear.

"You're beautiful." It was a simple statement in itself, but it was said with such intensity, and touched so dangerously close to her ego, that her eyes started to burn with unshed tears. She made an effort to hide them; there was no room for signs of weakness that night.

His hair was soft in her fingertips as he lowered his warm mouth into one of her nipples and sucked with fervor. She yelped at the bittersweet sensation, only to be soothed right away by his tongue drawing circle patterns over the sensitive spot. All the while his hands wandered to the other breast searching for some more gasps of pleasure from her.

Lower and lower he went on her body until he reached the spot he had previously ignored with teasing intention. His fingers pulled off the last piece of black lace fabric that prevented him from enjoying the full beauty of her body.

She hadn't been prepared for what happened next, because all of a sudden his mouth had descended on her and started to explore the sensitive flesh between her tights. From her point of view she could see a head of curls between her legs and her hand instinctively reached out for them. His tongue, oh his tongue worked marvelous sensations and awoke a fire that traveled all the way from where his mouth drank on her, up her body and burst in her cheeks in a beautiful shade of red.

In a matter of minutes she was gasping for hair in between indistinct moans of pleasure and something that resembled his name. Her chest heaved, her back arched and her legs trembled with the sheer force of her orgasm.

Minutes, maybe hours had passed since she regained some sort of power over her body and mind. She stood there, lying flat on the bed, eyes closed and breathing hard. The bed shifted with his weight, and she felt him lay down beside her. Even with her eyes closed she could feel his own watching her, probably fascinated by her passionate reaction to him.

Still she wanted more, and all of a sudden she couldn't have enough of him. She moved to straddle his body and received a surprised, but very pleased look from him. Her body inclined forward, her long dark hair fell over his face as her lips teased his own. Her kisses over his exposed skin were urgent and possessive, and left angry red marks in his neck and chest that would last longer than that night. Deep inside she had wanted to brand him, so he wouldn't forget about her as easily as he had before.

His hands on her hips held her firmly against him until she could feel the hardness of his desire for her. They both gasped for air, loud and powerfully, as their bodies joined together for the first time in the most fulfilling sensation they had ever experienced. At first she moved tentatively over him, and watched as his pupils dilated with lust while he panted and gasped, begging for more. She found out she truly enjoyed dominating his reactions. Then her hips set a gradual pace, enjoying the wonderful feeling of being completed by him. Her eyes closed, and all she could feel was him inside her and how perfect it felt, a sensation she wished would never end.

Without warming the world turned around, and she found herself in her back once more with him on top, grinning. In other opportunities she would have complained, but he had started to move in her rapidly and all the protests slowly drifted away from her mind, being replaced by the wondrous feelings he was creating in her. He moved with the grace of a long time lover, attentive, but wise enough to bring her to the brink of that amazing sensation she longed for, only to back down to start it all over again, driving her wild with yearning each time.

Lips, hands, legs wrapped around each other in a tangle of sensations that seemed endless. They went higher and higher with every trust of his hips, every scratch of her nails in his back, every scream of their names, until they couldn't think anymore.

All of a sudden her mind blanked and her body assumed all the sensorial functions. Her legs wrapped tightly around his hips, his arms held her closer, and they braced themselves for the fall. She felt as if her whole body had been set on fire, it trembled all over with the overwhelming intensity of her pleasure. He too trembled, albeit less than her, but whispered her name over and over again in the midst of his own bliss.

And as soon as it had started it was all over and the room was quiet once more. They stood in each other's arms for a long while afterwards, their bodies cooling down from the overwhelming combustion they had experienced. And even if their brains were sober enough to realize the extent of the intensity of their connection, they still would have no words to describe what had happened.

For the rest of the night, a sort of silent agreement settled between them while more drinking was mixed with delight. In the morning they would probably regret their actions, but in that moment, none could muster the strength to stay away from the other.

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Review please.


	6. Chapter 6

A chapter with both Rachel and Jesse's povs. Enjoy!

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She looked out of the large window of the small café in which she was waiting patiently. Her favorite place in the city was bursting with activity. Costumers came and went in the hurry that was characteristic of the over populated city. Couples sat on corners, chatting animatedly and exchanging lovely caresses. Looking around closely, she noticed she was the only person alone in that place, and for once she cursed the season. Spring used to be her favorite season, not too cold or warm, fresh new flowers bursting out of the ground, blue skies and colorful butterflies everywhere.

But what always became apparent to her in that time of the year, especially when she was alone, was that everyone else seemed to have found the love of their lives, even if it would only just last for a season. She wished for her friend to arrive quickly; the romantic motions all over were driving her upset beyond what was reasonably accepted. Since she always dreaded to arrive into events late, even if they were coffee dates, she always arrived early. It was deplorable that none of her friends practiced her impeccable sense of punctuality, and that was why she often found herself alone and waiting.

After a short while she found her tall and perfectly groomed friend cross the street in the direction of the café. She breathed a sigh of relief, her seasonal torture was about to end. What hadn't yet registered in her mind was that another kind of torture was about to begin as soon as he opened the door and entered the place.

"There you are, my messed up newly wedded friend!" He said a little too loudly for her taste.

Curious looks turned towards her and a faint blush crept up her cheeks. She used to crave attention, even obsessed with it, but there were a few times in her life, away from the stage, in which she found she couldn't bear being the center of gossiping attention.

"Kurt!" She whined just like a child, as he approached her table and sat down across from her.

"I'm sorry dear, I just couldn't help myself. You know me."

"Yes, I know the sarcastic, non-apologetically ironic young man that you are. But right now, I need my sensitive and insightful friend." A plea. She truly enjoyed her friend's company and he was always the first one she called when in need, but she knew him terribly well, and all that mockery of his wouldn't do her any good in the current situation.

"All right, I'll tone down my raving personality, just for now." He said with a defiant look towards her. "How was your trip?" He was asking out of courtesy, but she could read right through it. That question only masked the real endless tirade of inquiry he had bubbling inside.

"Both you and I know what you want to hear, let's skip the pleasantries for now and get right to the point. This situation is driving me crazier."

"Is that even possible?" He asked laughing loudly.

"Be nice!" And regardless of the situation she laughed as well. "I need your help."

"Then tell me everything, from the beginning." He asked, leaning across the table and preparing himself for the most incredibly insane story she had ever told him.

She proceeded to tell him how it all began. How amazed she was to find him at the same party, singing his heart out and how incredibly handsome he had become. At some point, her friend had to interrupt her uncontrolled chatter about the nice-looking man and his enchanting voice, and tell her to refocus on the original story line. The conversation resumed to how she had kept him away, until they were both sufficiently intoxicated to mildly forget their catastrophic past and share a long lasting dance. She then described the details of their conversation and how it led to the moment when he grabbed her hand and sealed their lives together.

All the while her friend kept silence, listening to every word, only now and then raising an eyebrow in disbelief. She told him how he had accompanied her to the airport and promised to arrange for everything and how they had parted ways for probably the last time.

Silence remained in the air as she came to an end, only the sounds of other costumers in the distance surrounded them. He eyed her suspiciously with his big eyes, judging the story she had just finished narrating.

"You're not telling me everything." He declared and reclined backwards in the chair, that impertinent eyebrow of his stood up in accusation.

Her eyes fell to her hands that were occupied around her cup of coffee. She felt herself blush once more in addition to lying to her dear friend; it's just that she didn't know how to tell him.

"That's all there is to tell, Kurt." It came out in a murmur.

"I don't believe it…" He accused once more in a high pitch voice. "You might be a world class actress, but you've always been a terrible liar. Spill it!"

"We had sex." She blurted out in one breath. Sure, she hadn't meant to tell him, he was already as horrified with the situation as it was, but it weighted in her mind and would soon be too much to handle alone.

"You what?" His voice came out loud in the crowded room, for the second time that day, alerting the surrounding people to their presence. She could see the shock all over his face and chose a careful way to explain her predicament.

"We were drunk and high on each other, one thing lead to another, and we ended up in bed." Of course that, out loud, it didn't sound as pleasant as it did in her mind, she just sounded like the majority of the feminine population that, like her, had experienced one night of drunken sex.

Maybe the sight of her had melted the irritation towards her careless actions, for he stood silent for a while and looked at her with friendly sympathy. A small grin formed in his lips and the glint in his eyes warned her to brace herself for what was to come.

"So, how is he?" His question was short but he hadn't needed to elaborate further for her to understand his devious meaning.

Her mouth opened in shock, and if it was possible, her face burned even more in embarrassment. His words were enough to remind her how amazing that night had been. "That would be none of your business!"

It wasn't unusual for them to talk about intimate details of their lives, she didn't felt any kind of restraint about telling him of her sexual escapades once in a while, but there was something special in that night that she had wanted to keep to herself.

His good humored laughter came out again. "That good, huh?"

She only rolled her eyes at her friend's antics. Her hands came up to hide her face in shame. For a little while she kept her face rested in her open hands, willing time to turn back to a place when her life hadn't been so complicated. Her little introspection was soon interrupted by the soft voice of her friend.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Yes." She simply said, removing her hands from her face to look directly at him.

"Why are you still wearing the wedding ring?" It was a simple question all in all, but it was enough to bring her back to the harsh reality.

She looked at her hand in surprise. It was true; she had yet to take off that precious band out of her finger. For some unknown reason it was still proudly adorning her hand.

"I don't know." She replied simply, still staring at the ring in wonder. "Isn't it beautiful, though? Stars. So thoughtful…"

He just shook his head and sighed deeply. "My personal opinion is that your subconscious is not quite ready to divorce, at least not until both of you have a decent conversation," He said solemnly. "at least one that doesn't involve alcohol."

"All I know is that this was inconsequent of us. We barely know each other, not to mention how he treated me before. I can't put myself in the line of such pain again."

"Do you still love him?" He asked suddenly, as straightforward as he always had been.

"What does that have to do with anything?" She asked already irritated with the interrogatory.

"It was a fairly simple question." He received only silence. "Answer!"

"How can you think that I can still be in love with him, after all these years, regardless of everything?"

"How can you not? After all, fate had a very interesting way to bring you back together. It has to mean something."

"Since when you've became so spiritual?" She mocked.

"Since my best friend found herself in this situation and seems to be in denial. Besides, it's been so long, and you even said that he had apologized. Just let all that pain rest in the past."

"I can't seem to let myself forgive him that easily." And in reality, it was only the fear of rejection that held her back, along with the feelings of betrayal that he had implanted on her.

"Why not? You sure didn't have any kind of difficulty forgiving other people in your life, people who had done far worse things to you."

The veracity of his statement was too much to bear. There were tears in her eyes threatening to fall when he leaned forward again and clasped her hands in his.

"Honey, I wish I could do something else for you, but before you make a final decision, you have to sort out your feelings." He whispered just between them.

At his words the tears she had been holding for so long cascaded down her cheeks and dropped sadly into the table surface. She nodded and laid her forehead in their entwined hands. She cried softly for a while until she felt her friend drop a reassuring, brotherly kiss on the top of her head.

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Once he arrived into the comfort of his large apartment, his immediate reaction was to throw his luggage angrily at a corner and sit down at the sofa in the living room. There was no one to greet him at his arrival, and he found himself loathing the solitude of his place.

He had been gradually climbing the so desired stair to stardom, slowly and painfully for sure. In the time he had spent in Los Angeles he had made a name for himself, and collected a few awards and honorable mentions that filled the shelves around the house. It was the painful truth; the memories of his life were counted in symbolic metallic statues and his large CD and book collection. In spite of all those professional achievements there was still a lingering sense of incompleteness he tried to hide from the bright spotlights of the outside world. His apartment lacked the kind of comfortable familiarity of a proper home, where the memories of good times are displayed over the walls in candid pictures. He knew from the start that fame was a lonely place, but while studying the emptiness of his white walls, he realized he never predicted it would be this lonely.

His fingers massaged his temples attempting to take the throbbing headache away, but to no use. Even after the long flight, and in spite of the fact that he was finally back to his place, it still didn't do much to soothe his raging mood. The memory of her walking away from him at the airport, without anything further to say, still burned in his head and seemed to amplify the feeling of loneliness.

He groaned at the recollection and let his hands fall heavily beside him. The distance seemed to provide the opportunity for his mind to think and place the last 24 hours into perspective. In the space of a single day, he had reencountered the girl that had plagued him with regrets for years, had gotten drunk, attempted to apologize for his past unforgivable mistakes, and ended up married and in bed with her. His mind tried to grasp the intense succession of events that seemed so unbelievable.

A humorless laugh left his lips. He remembered her tempting him, without even realizing, with visions of a future he knew were only in his head. Visions of a world that would never exist, situations and promises he had dared to dream for both of them long time ago, in spite of knowing better than to build hopes that would never become reality. It was true that he had once been a player, never once attaching himself to a girl, living his life without a single care; his only focus being the bright stage lights. But that had been before he had met her.

With her, his life changed so drastically that he became a stranger even to himself. All of a sudden that small and loud dark haired girl was matching him in all levels: his intelligence, his talent and the overwhelming desire for something bigger than themselves. Those were some of the reasons why he had opened up and dared to dream of a perfect life with her. In that scary process he learned a valuable lesson; in order to love he had to put himself in a position to be hurt and hurt in return.

And yet, a single sentence from her – _we're perfect for each other_ - was enough to bring those dreams back. If he remembered well, her dare had faintly resembled an innocent joke, but in the midst of their state of inebriation he found out he couldn't resist it. Filled with liquid courage he had thrown caution at the wind, made his wildest dreams come true and unconsciously unleashed a flow of events that had both of them in opposite ends of an argument in the morning.

Even though they woke up to a very striking surprise, and he had to make an effort to remember how they had gotten into that situation, other things were still clearly present in his mind as the sun came up. He remembered every single detail about her. How passionate and responsive she had been, how her kisses reminded him of how they used to be in the past, and how her uninhibited caresses were something entirely new and enjoyable.

Being intimate with her, he had to admit, had been one of his most intense cravings since he was younger. He had fantasized about it countless times, but the reality had been far better than anything his brain could conceive. The moment he held her close to his body he knew it would be an experience unlike any other in his life. Her small body had molded against him, she had tasted heavenly and they revealed to be a perfect fit. His hands had memorized the intricate paths of pleasure in her skin and in that night, his fingertips had played her like a fine instrument that had created a divine melody to his ears.

A growl of frustration rumbled in his chest and his hands traveled impatiently over his curls, for the lack of a better use. Just remembering that night made him burn with throbbing desire all over again. He could never have predicted that she could have such strong effect on him. It was intense and frightening, but not at all unpleasant.

In that morning, regret had settled in this chest when sunlight hit the reminders of their night together, but that feeling was rapidly replaced by something else entirely. Lying in his arms, looking pure and fragile, she took his breath away as soon as she opened her eyes to the world, and he looked into those deep pools of infinite emotion. How he had longed to look into those eyes again and be reassured that everything would be alright again in his life. With day light filtering through the large window of the suite, it didn't matter how they had gotten there in the first place, it only mattered that she was in his arms like it was her rightful place to be.

The peaceful bliss that had wrapped the few first minutes of their awakening was torn apart by the full blow of her irritation, leaving him in a state of confusion. His only option had been to act casually, while she acted vividly upon it as if the world was about to end, and he knew that anything he said would only infuriate her furthermore.

But then, the more they fought the more he realized she seemed completely oblivious of the feelings they had shared, and reality struck him painfully while realizing the extend of the hurt that her anger provoked in him. He couldn't possibly blame her, she had all the reasons in the world to avoid talking to him, let alone stay married with the guy who had chosen his more selfish dreams of stardom over her.

He had tried to beg for forgiveness with all the honesty he could muster, because in spite of that being a foreign emotion for him for many years, life had taught him enough lessons to tone down his ego and realize that he wasn't above of walking away from his mistakes without experiencing guilt.

Yet, those apologies seemed to have no affect on her, and at each attempt from his part to address their situation she distanced herself emotionally, leaving conversations short and unspoken feelings hanging in the silence between. In the end he had resigned himself to abide to her wishes and revoke the mess he had started, even though he wasn't quite sure if that was what he wanted.

"I owe her that much, don't I?" He asked himself in the solitude of his apartment. There was no audible reply in return, but in his head he already knew the answer.

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Any thoughts? Thank you for reading.


	7. Chapter 7

Another M rated chapter, and unfortunately the last one before the ending, just a little more torture until everything is solved. Enjoy.

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The days passed by uneventfully. Every day she willed something, anything to happen, but the days were spent in between her home and rehearsals, where her mind could relax and forget all the confusion she felt.

In the calm hours of busy days, she found herself expecting a long distance call from the other side of the country, checking her cell phone more times than considered healthy. She started checking her mail box three times a day, despite the fact that she knew the mail man only did rounds once a day. Her moods were as unpredicted as the spring weather and more than once she had lost her collected calm and stormed out of places with no apparent reason.

She had grown restless; the waiting was slowly driving her insane. Days turned into months and still nothing had happened. It was not until the beginning of summer that she heard from him again.

In spite of being early summer, the weather was already dry and unbearably hot. Instead of going out and mingling with the sweaty people outside, she preferred to stay inside of her apartment and enjoy the fresh solitude of it. Her stereo blasted with the song from one of her favorite shows as she stepped out of the bathtub and enveloped herself in her short pink satin robe.

Barefoot, she danced around the house to the beat of the song while her voice mimicked the lyrics perfectly. She felt so carefree and relaxed while expressing herself through song that she barely missed the door bell ring. She turned down the volume a little and walked to the door. When she opened it and saw who was on the other side, her knees faltered slightly and her heart raced in her chest.

"What are you doing here?" She asked with a trembling voice.

"One would think that a somewhat famous Broadway actress would be easy to find in this town, but apparently not." He said with a crooked grin.

When she didn't answer back it became apparent that his joke had no effect on her whatsoever, and an awkward silence settled between them.

"I bought the papers." He then said in a low voice raising his hand to show said papers.

"You could have mailed it and spare yourself the inconvenience of crossing the country just to that effect." The fact that he had come to knock on her door after all that time unsettled her. It was not that she wasn't somewhat glad to see him again, but she had resigned herself that it would never happen again. Now that he stood just outside her door, it seemed that all the anger, annoyance and everything else opposed to it rushed inside her.

He shrugged his shoulders casually. There was absolutely no answer to her question that would not result in his embarrassment. She had a point when admitting it would be more practical to send the papers by mail and never see her again, but he had spent days thinking about her, relieving that night in his head and wishing to see her just for one last time. At the moment the papers seemed to be the perfect excuse, but now, that he stood in front of her, it didn't feel like such an intelligent plan anymore.

"Can I come in?" He asked making an effort to look into her eyes. The silk robe she wore made it almost impossible for him to keep a clean thought in his head that did not involve picking her up and wrap her legs around him.

She didn't answer and pondered for a while the dangers of letting him into the privacy of her home. But he stood there with a hopeful look in his face and she found out, not for the first time in her life, that she didn't have the strength to say no to him. Without a word she just stepped aside to let him pass.

As he walked inside the apartment she stood behind to close the door and appreciate his presence. He was dressed in dark jeans and a tight navy blue t-shirt, a very relaxed look on him, one she couldn't help but be pleased with.

He seemed to be looking around the living room and appreciate the decoration. She always prided herself for the arrangement she did in her apartment, of course with a little help from her best friend. It was classy, yet jovial and modern and it was in the little details that her strong personality shone.

"Nice place." He said turning towards her as she approached his side.

"Thank you. Being famous has its benefits." She declared proudly, forgetting for a moment with whom she had been talking to. "But I guess you know about that quite well."

"I do indeed." He answered sincerely. All too soon the polite conversation had died and he found himself empty of ideas for more ways to keep her engaged with him.

The inevitable question formed in her lips and she had to breathe quite deeply a few times before gathering the courage to voice it out loud. "Where do I sign?"

"Before we go into that, I would like to talk to you first." He said tentatively.

She sighed at his persistence. "I don't think we have anything else to talk about, we've done sufficient damage to each other already."

"That's exactly why we need to talk. If you don't want to say anything at least listen to me."

She took a good measuring look at him. His face was contorted into a pleading look, but nonetheless he looked beautiful. There was always something in him that made her forget about her resolves and give in to his desires, something that made her terribly afraid of the control he had on her. But in spite of herself, she nodded in agreement and pointed towards the sofa. Both took a seat in it with a reasonable distance between them.

"In spite of having apologized to you already, you don't seem too willing to forgive me." He started. "It's very important to me that you do."

"Why would I even consider it?" She asked indignantly.

"You have to understand that I truly regret what I did to you."

"You lied to me!" She threw at him with her patience running out. Suddenly, the distance that the couch proposed was not enough. She got up and walked a few more steps away from him.

"Not everything was a lie, Rachel." His voice sounded oddly calm in the silence of her living room. "I loved you. I really did," He got up from the couch as well and walked the short distance between them, coming to a halt right in front of her. "and I think I still do."

He probably shouldn't have said it so openly in that moment, and yet he couldn't deny it any longer. She had imprinted herself in the heart he didn't knew he had back in their school days, and that brand lingered throughout the years and seemed to intensify once he saw her again.

"No, no! You're not allowed to say that." She was trembling all over with the force of her mixed feelings. Her voice rose to a high volume, propelled by her anger. "You can't walk into my life a few years later, as if you had never left, and say you still have feelings for me." She stepped away from him once more. "You can't play me like that, I won't let you."

He followed her, his hands wrapped tightly around her arms, attempting to shake some sense into her. In that moment his voice rose as well. "Dammit, can't you see that I'm being honest with you?" He breathed heavily. "Besides, you can't deny what we felt that night, Rachel. It was too pure and perfect for you to brush away as if it had been a mistake."

"We were drunk." She calmly said, her voice as icy as she intended to. The knowledge that he still remembered their night together settled warmly in her chest for a moment, and yet she chose to let it pass by with a heavy heart.

"Look into my eyes and tell me you didn't feel the same as I did when we were together." His hands closed even more tightly around her silk clad arms, eager for her to tell the truth once and for all.

There was a long pause in which none said a word. She looked downward, not wanting to meet his eyes for the fear he would read something in them that would unleash all the complicated feeling she harbored for him. Her eyes were fixed on her bare toes and in spite of their heated argument, the warmth that was spreading all over her body had nothing to do with anger but with his close proximity. She chewed nervously on her lower lip and closed her eyes while her hands, at their own will, came up and settled against his chest.

All the anger he had felt before slipped away when he studied her reaction closely. Her response to the whole situation seemed too exaggerated, even for her normal levels of drama, but it all made sense to him now. She did in fact remember that night, maybe too much for her own scared good.

"Do you still have feelings for me?" He asked calmly. His heart hammered against his chest underneath the palm of her right hand.

"No, I don't." She spat, releasing all the anger she had ever felt towards him. She hadn't been able to control her emotions, let alone control the words that slipped through her lips. She took control of her hands and attempted to push him away, but his grip on her arms was too strong to fight.

"Prove it." He growled before his lips angrily captured hers. He bruised at her lips with the desire of a passionate man. Soon her lips were answering his pleas and fusing with his in a fervent embrace.

For a moment she had forgotten every little bit of pain he had ever caused and lost herself in the immense pleasure he had always made her feel. But the reality of their lives was as insistent as the drum beat of the song in the background. With a strong effort she pushed him away with her hands, ending their kiss.

Their raged breaths mingled in the small distance between them and a single look into his eyes made her lose her mind all over again. Her hands pushed his face to her and their lips crashed once more. All of a sudden, there was too much space between them, and even though they had each other in a tight embrace it was still not enough. He walked blindly forward until her back collided painfully with the wall. All the while, their lips were glued to one another and their hands grasped angrily at pieces of clothing. He grasped the two sides of her robe and opened it apart, revealing her creamy naked skin underneath. With the bright sunlight shinning through the windows he could see every delicious shape of her and his lower body reacted immediately.

Fulfilling his early fantasy, he picked her up and wrapped her legs around his hips. He then kissed and licked his way down her neck until he arrived at her chest and performed the same actions he had that night. Without fault her response was exactly the same, if not amplified. With the attention on her breasts she became louder and louder until her fairly large apartment seemed to reverberate with her voice. Without a minute to spare, she did quick work of his jeans, and with much ease guided him inside her.

The friction that their bodies created only added to the sensation of being connected again. His body pinned her firmly against the wall and his strong arms kept her in place as he moved in her. It was far different from what had happened in that hotel suite, this was no gentle love making. It was a burning consumption of their feelings, a growing ache for one another expressed in the form of angry bites in his shoulder and the rough trusting of his hip.

Soon their bodies burst into flames of pleasure. In the blindness of his ecstasy, he shouted her name in the same fashion she seemed to enjoy, and his movements never stopped in her long after she had tightened around him and screamed incoherently for him. Her body quivered in the places they touched and the same sense of wholeness washed over her.

He lowered her body softly to the ground, his breath still coming out of his lungs in long puffs of air. When her feet touched the hardwood floor, she found that her legs were trembling too much to support her weight and, if it had not been for his strong grasp on her body, she would sure end up in a mess of limbs on the ground.

When awareness came to her again, she found him staring at her with happiness and adoration in his eyes. In that moment she wanted to yell or maybe run away from all the conflicting emotions he stirred inside her. The reasonable part of her screamed to embrace him, leave the past behind and know this new man he had become, but the very conflicted emotional part of her had her trapped in fear. In the end, only shame for her inability to resist him spoke louder.

"Leave." She murmured while attempting to stand straight without his help.

"What?" He stared at her blankly.

"Get out!" She shouted.

He seemed to understand the turmoil of emotions that was exploding inside of her, for he composed his clothes and stepped carefully away from her, allowing her space to gather her thoughts. His eyes were dark with sadness and his face twisted with emotional pain. She had never seen him so hurt before, but in that moment, she couldn't think about sentiments beyond her own painful ones.

Sometime later the door of her apartment closed loudly. The remaining strength that had been holding her composure faded, and she let her body slide down the wall and land on the floor. In shame of herself she held her legs close to her body and buried her face in the knees. A myriad of questions ran free in her mind. What if he was telling the truth about still loving her?

Agonizing cries filled the air, and the raw tears she hadn't allowed herself to cry since that time, began to fall. She cried for her 15 year old self, all alone and broken in that parking lot, she cried for her older version, still alone and agonizingly in love with the same guy she had been avoiding all her life.

Silence sank in the apartment and in her until she could hear herself think clearly again. A flashback of all their moments played before her eyes, and the scattered pieces of the puzzle that was her life fell neatly together.

"I still love him." The realization came in a whisper in the silence of her apartment. Tears ran down her face until there were no more of them to cry.

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Reviews are a lot of love!


	8. Chapter 8

Here is the last chapter!

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It was already night, but the movement in the city was still alive and vibrating with neon lights at every street corner. She made her way through the busy streets, among the waves of people that hurried on their own way, or simply strolled down the streets admiring the bright lights. Her heels made hurried noises in the pavement as she walked.

It took a while for her to arrive to the correct destination, but as soon as she did her steps halted and a new wave of nerves bubbled up from her stomach. She searched in her purse for the piece of paper that had brought her there. Her eyes traveled from the small letterhead paper in her hand and to the large front of the building, accessing the correct address.

Her heart beat in her chest in a devious speed making her legs tremble and her courage falter for a moment. In sudden panic she turned and ran a few paces down the street, away from the building, until her legs stopped and she came to a halt. She shook her head in shame.

"You've been a coward so far," She whispered to herself. "but not anymore."

Taking a deep breath she let the fresh night air of the city invade her lungs and fill her body with courage. She turned in the direction she had came before and slowly walked to the imposing hotel entrance.

Early that day she had experienced again the overwhelming power they created together, this time without restrains and completely aware of each other. It had been raw and animalistic, something completely out of the boundaries of her meticulous arranged world, and yet it had made her feel more alive than anything else before. She had felt the full force of his yearning for her and yield to that temptation like a submissive woman. The truth was that deep down she had wanted to give up her self imposed strains and let herself fall in that pool of love, for she knew he would catch her in the end.

In the end, he hadn't failed to catch her and add a little more of his now outspoken devotion for her. But reality always had a way to crawl into her blissfully dazed brain, and in a moment of dread her automatic reaction was to protect her heart from him. It seemed that running from him was an instinctive reaction, just as much as keeping him closer. In that moment, she shoved him away as far as she could and lay there crying against the wall as the hours passed.

The realization came a long time afterwards as the morning glow dissipated from her body and her mind started to think straight again. His words had been perfect, the ones she had longed to hear for years, and still they had scared her beyond imagination. They seemed sincere, and he had spoken them so many times in the moments they had spent together that she found it hard not to believe him. But what would happen if she believed him again? Would she found herself heartbroken once more? Maybe this time in an irreparable way?

Those were questions to which she had no answer. Only he could bring some light into the doubts clouding her mind. But what if she had pushed him so far away now, that he would never return? That question floated in her head for a few minutes until it made more tears fall.

In all reason, aside from his feelings, there were still her unaddressed ones. From the time she met him again, in that infamous wedding, she felt that she had been slowly walking into an abyss and the last push that took for her to fall into oblivion was his declaration of love.

She had fell into the depths of her own heart and discovered that the owner had been him all along. It had always been him. And from the very blunt messages that the universe addressed them time and again, she suspected it would always be him. No matter how fast and far she ran, one way or another, they would always find a way into each other's lives.

That thought alone made her protective walls fall and embrace the fact that she didn't have the strength or intention to fight her feelings any longer. What she wanted in that moment was answers to her questions and a man, and she would get both before the new day arrived.

With trembling hands she had cleaned away the traces of tears in her face. She had tightened her pink robe to her body and walked, albeit a little insecure, to the stack of paper he had left behind. Her hands had fumbled with the pages trying to find something, anything with an address that would lead to him. In all that commotion, a small piece of paper fell from the pages, and when she picked it up she saw royal blue letters with the name of a very distinct hotel printed in the front.

Her lips had turned into a small smile. She then disappeared into her room to compose herself and after a few minutes flew like a spear out of the apartment and into the busy streets of the city.

It had been her heart and that single piece of paper that had brought her there seeking for him. With a long sigh she summoned all her courage and walked the red carpet of the entrance directly into a large marble lobby. At the front desk she asked for his name with the pretense of a business meeting and was immediately directed towards his room.

The elevator ride seemed endless and all the while her thoughts ran wild picturing countless possibilities for their encounter. Some bad, some passionate and even some catastrophic. All too soon those images were silenced by the ring that announced the arrival to the destined floor. It took a while for her to step out, but as soon as she did, she walked with the determination of a woman in a mission and only stopped in front of the door of his room.

She knocked on the door, once, twice and before the third attempt the door was unlocked. As it slid open it revealed the curly haired man that had left her apartment early, sad, defeated and somewhat lost. Her eyes drank in the sight of him and immediately her heart twisted in pain, for she was the sole cause of his pained expression.

He didn't talk, only stood there holding the door slightly open and staring at her as if in disbelief of her presence. After a while she felt compiled to fill the silence and finally spoke in a soft voice.

"Can I come in?"

Still no verbal answer from him, his eyes just closed for a brief second and his lips contracted into a tin line. He nodded and stepped aside for her to enter.

She walked into the room, it was spacious and well furnished, and a sense of comfort invaded her. Maybe it was the energy of the space, or maybe it was just his presence that had that soothing effect in her even among the constraint they were in.

The door closed behind her with a soft sound and he moved past her further into the room.

"Did you sign the papers?" He asked in a restrained tone, all the while keeping his back turned to her.

It took a long breath and the answer came fluidly pass her lips. "No."

As soon as she answered he turned fully in her direction, his face in complete shock.

"Why?" He asked timidly.

She just sighed, and then sat neatly in a nearby chair and folded her hands in her lap, her eyes were cast downwards avoiding his. All the while he watched her movement, his blue eyes large and inquisitive.

"I want to apologize." She murmured softly completely ignoring his question, to which she didn't quite have an answer.

"For what?" He asked immediately after she spoke, and she could clearly feel he was on edge standing there close to the window with the street lights reflecting on his features.

"I'm acknowledging that I've been treating you awfully in times when you didn't deserve it." She continued. "Besides, I'm starting to agree with you, we really need to talk like reasonable adults."

"I truly think I deserved some amount of that behavior you've been presenting me with." He said with a self pity chuckle. "And I'm willing to talk whenever you are." He added calmly while pacing the floor.

She nodded silently and took the moment to organize the thoughts that had been scattered around her mind. Only one prevailed above all, the absolute need to know if his words had been truthful.

"Is it true?" She asked, and once the question was out she wondered if it should have been more elaborated, but the knowledge to whom she was speaking to assured her that he would understand perfectly.

Sure enough, he did understand for he nodded and took a deep breath, contemplating her question. The silence dragged for a few minutes while he pondered a subtle way to answer her question without making her run towards the door scared of him. He ran an absent minded hand through his curls and then his face.

"I probably shouldn't have told you that in the sudden way I did, and I'm sorry if I stepped over a line there." He began softly, a little too afraid. "But the truth is that when I went home I realized that this is second nature to me, I can't help falling in love with you."

She remained silent, still seating in the same position. Beyond the window, the night burst into life, sounds of people in undistinguished conversations and honking traffic filled the stillness of the room. When she didn't comment on his open heart declaration, he felt the need to turn away and let his eyes lose them in the life outside. He couldn't bear to look at her without feeling the urge to gather her seemingly broken self in his arms and make her whole again. But her silence felt ambiguous, so he opted to turn completely away from her and towards the world outside, shielding his own feelings from a possible devastating wound.

"We've been hurting each other for a long time, Rachel." The words were spoken kindly with no hint of accusation; nevertheless they were the pure truth that still hurt to be acknowledged. "Right now, I'm hurt by the way you treated and pushed me away, and I know you're hurting too."

Suddenly there was a rush and a small warm body pressing on his back. The sensation was new and yet so familiar that he couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief.

At his words so filled with pain, she couldn't hold herself still any longer. She gathered the remains of the courage that had brought her there and the bottled urge to hold him against her once more, and crossed the room in his direction. Her forehead collided gently with his back and her hands closed on fistfuls of his shirt.

"I'm sorry, Jesse." She whispered with closed eyes attempting to secure the tears that had started forming in them.

"I'm sorry too, and I'll say it as many times as it takes for you to believe." And as he spoke he felt her arms circle his waist and rest in his stomach in silent response. However, he closed his own eyes and carried on with his thoughts.

"I made all the wrong and selfish decisions. There's not a single day that goes by when I don't regret what I did. You weren't supposed to suffer collateral damage."

"But then why did you do those hurtful things to me?" Her voice was small, trembling against his back. She knew it was very childish of her to still be clinging to those particular scenes of her past, but she couldn't let it go, no matter how much she tried, not without answers first.

"I was hurting and being pressured to do so. But above all, you were far too good for someone like me. In the end I had to make sure to keep you away so I couldn't hurt you anymore." His hands came to rest above hers, his fingers caressed her skin and inevitably found the ring that was still in her finger. With a deep sigh he went on.

"I thought I was doing the right thing, but I was mistaken." He paused briefly, assessing if he should keep going. The need to be truthful to her won. "I know what I want and I want you. Now tell me, what do you want?"

Her tears started to pool in the fabric of his shirt, but he didn't seem to care. He only held her hands closer to him, both refraining from moving, fearing their intimate moment would dissipate into the night.

"I want to believe you." She finally said, opening the dam that constricted all the feelings in her heart. "But I feel that I've been stuck in the past for so long that I'm afraid I can't move forward without the fear of being hurt again."

He then turned around in her embrace; his hands cupped her cheeks and urged her to look him straight in the eyes before speaking again.

"Then let me make it right for you, Rachel." He insisted, his blue eyes still locked with her tearful dark ones. "Give me a chance to make us happy again, because I know you want this just as much as I do."

She sniffled and blinked a few times, utterly crushed by his pleas. Her own hands tenderly covered his in her face. "How can I be sure you'll never hurt me again?"

"You can't, but I promise you I'll do everything in my power not to." He pulled her firmly against his chest and enveloped her in his strong arms, hugging her close. His head bowed to her level and he whispered closer to her ear. "I love you too much to see you hurt again."

The warmth of his words sent a shiver through her spine and she shifted closer to him in his embrace. Her head was gently resting on top of his heart, which beat powerfully under her ear. Shielded from the world in his loving embrace, she felt the most happy she had ever felt in her entire life. She was finally in the arms of the only one she had always wanted, and listening to his sincere words made her resolve. In cue, all the anger she had ever felt towards his actions, and all the hurt dissipated and left a warm feeling of belonging.

"I love you too." She whispered so softly that he had lean a little closer to understand. Her head came up from the spot in his chest and her hands mimicked his actions from before, they cupped his face and caressed his cheeks with her small thumbs.

"And I don't want to hurt you anymore. I recognize now that I let myself go in an impetuous manner without thinking that my actions could hurt someone, and with that not only I hurt you, but I hurt myself as well by not acknowledging my own feelings."

He nodded in acknowledgment and let his lips kiss her forehead tenderly.

"We'll be alright now."

Her hands brought his face closer and her lips covered his in a gentle kiss. This time, there was no urgency even though the flame of their passion still lingered inside of them. They took their time to appreciate the other and their new found bliss. His lips pulled at hers tenderly, always yearning for more, and she opened herself to him eagerly, tasting the sweetness of one another. Her hands entwined themselves behind his neck, and rested there while her fingers absently caressed the skin there.

A few minutes have passed or maybe more, for they had lost complete awareness of their surroundings. When their lips finally parted, their foreheads rested against one another as they attempted to calm down their breaths and tone down their content smiles.

"We can't mess it up this time, Jesse." She whispered with a heavy breath.

"Don't worry, we already messed up enough for a life time. You have to admit, while the rest of the world usually gets married after having a relationship, we managed to do the exact opposite." He paused dramatically, and then declared, laughing wholeheartedly, "We've always been overachievers."

Her hand slapped his arm playfully and she watched him fake hurt in return. "I'm being serious!" She cried out, but laughed just as well.

Her head moved to rest in his shoulder and she snuggled close to his neck, where his scent invaded her nostrils and settled a soothing feeling in her. She sighed in contentment just as his arms tightened around her small frame. They shared the comfortable embrace until he spoke again.

"Do you still want to stay married to me?" He asked softly.

"Yes!" She answered brightly, lifted her head to look into his blue eyes and assure him it was the truth. "But we might have to reprise it in more sober circumstances. After all, we own ourselves that, and I have a feeling that Kurt was secretly disappointed that he didn't have the chance to plan my wedding."

He laughed again and shook his head. "I see no problem with that. I'll marry you as many times as you want."

With that he picked her up in a tight embrace and twisted her around earning squeals of laughter from her that filled him with a sense of happiness he hadn't felt in his life before. Being together felt real and right, as if he had been sleepwalking through life until he found her, and could finally start living again. He might sound like a love struck teen, but that was exactly how he felt, filled with a rush of power that made him feel like he could take over the world just as long as she was beside him for the long run.

Her laughter still filled the room long before he had settled her on the floor once more. It was a delirious sound, so contagious and reflective of her state of mind. She was finally free from the past and the possibilities for the future were numerous and thrilled her to no end. This time, the road would not be a solitary one; she would have him right by her side.

When her laughter subsided she looked at his eyes once more and saw reflected there what her own also shone, the infinite gratitude that a seemingly wrong decision was enough to bring them together.

"We don't do normal, do we Jesse?" She asked with a smile.

"I'm glad we don't." He simply declared.

And that simple statement rang true to their ears. Their journey to the present wasn't an effortless one. There had been many obstacles to overcome, and what had started with lack of judgment had turned out to be the catalytic to rise above their past and acknowledge the feelings that had been repressed for so long.

Both knew the times that lay ahead might have laughter and much as tears in them. But as he picked her up gently in his arms, lay her down in the soft sheets of the bed and stared lovingly at each other, they knew that together they could overcome anything, and that it would all be worth in the end.

* * *

There's still a small epilogue to come. I hope you have enjoyed the story so far.


	9. Epilogue

_Epilogue_

A peaceful bliss had enveloped them in the first few weeks of being back together. Both took the time to know each other again, this time without hidden agendas, with no vicious competitions, only both of them sharing their life and enjoying the exciting new road ahead. But the reality they had been avoiding in the beginning seemed to approach rapidly and wake them from their blissful reverie. It was finally time to start living, to build a life together with whatever challenges that came their way. They knew it would mean that one of them would have to change their life dramatically.

Neither seemed to have the courage to make a decision and risk bursting their little bubble, so they waited until the right moment came, all the while ignoring the insistent call of the impending question that floated all around them. Who would it be?

It was only in an afternoon at the end of summer, when both sat in the outdoors of a restaurant enjoying a meal, that reality sank in. The sun shone brightly up in the shy and softly kissed her olive skin, while the breeze that announced the coming of autumn played with his curls. There was uncharacteristic silence between them, but it was intimate and comfortable, and when her eyes traveled from her plate up to meet his and a soft smile illuminated her face, he couldn't prevent the words of his resolve from falling through his lips and breaking the silence.

"I've always been seduced by the bright lights of the stages in the 42nd street." He stated as if to answer an unspoken question.

It was a simple statement in itself, but it conveyed everything that they had been avoiding, the ultimate decision of whom would change their life for the other. The meaning was heavy and enough to surprise her.

A moment later the brightest smile he had ever seen took form in her face and reached her eyes in the form of brilliant tears. She didn't have to speak; the smile that lasted for a lifetime and the very passionate love making that night was enough to convey all the gratitude she felt.

She smiled warmly at the memory from that summer day as her head rested in his bare chest in the stillness of their bedroom. While her fingertips drummed along his skin at the rise and fall of his chest, the first sun rays invaded the room and shone on the diamond star in her finger. The clear light captured her attention and she contemplated the past year in her life. Many questions came and went, but only one was persistent, one that frequently resided in the back of her mind, the one to which the answer was the most feared. She exhaled in frustration and her breath fanned softly across his chest.

"I can hear you thinking from here." He murmured in a sleepy voice.

In spite of her previous annoyance she smiled at his uncanny ability to read her body language, even when half asleep. His arms tightened around her body and he turned in her embrace to capture her lips in a tender kiss.

"What were you thinking about?" He asked.

Her eyes fell from his gaze and her fingers started to play absentmindedly with the curls at the base of his neck. She sighed again and remembered her vital premise, to be courageous enough to always be truthful to him.

"Are you happy?" She asked in a whisper. "Was it worth to marry me and change your life to be with me?"

He suddenly felt fully awake and wondered for how long those questions had plagued her mind. He couldn't bear the thought that she had been carrying such a heavy weight for a year, because if he knew her at all, he knew that from the moment he had made the decision she had been playing the "what if" scenarios in her mind.

Before answering he covered her lips with his own again and tried to convey all the reassurance he could. Her body relaxed under his touch, but still her heart beat frantically in her chest waiting for the answer.

"You are worth everything, Rachel." He said looking deep into her eyes. "And I'm here with you, doing what I love the most as well."

Her heart settled and her mind rested under his confession. She smiled fondly at him, invaded by a sudden rush of love for the man beside her. She never thought it was possible, that it was just something written in romantic stories, but every day she fell for him a little more.

Her arms encircled his neck and brought his lips close to hers again. His body moved once more and covered her naked one with all the care in the world.

"I couldn't have been happier anywhere else without you." He whispered close to her lips as his hand carefully caressed her expanding stomach.

"I'm happy too." She simply said while smiling brightly at him.

As his warm hand ran along her slightly round abdomen and felt the new life irradiate from it deep inside her, she realized she had finally achieved her most sacred dream. Not the one that involved bright spotlights and a spot for her in the center of a stage. No, that dream was inevitable and would be built for the rest of her life. This dream, the one she had dreamed in secret ever since she could remember, had always seemed unreachable. One where she would find a man that loved her for who she was, especially for her faults, that matched her every other dream, and understood her better than anyone else. A man with whom she would be able to share her life and build a family.

A year is nothing but a grain of sand in the great clock of time. In a year the wheel of life never stops. Lives are lost at every minute, while others draw their first breath. But in a year a tragic past can be overcome, even by a twist of faith, and a new future can be built from the scattered dreams that seemed would never happen. Her dream turned into reality and yet had just begun. It made her eager to know what the future would bring next, and she knew he felt exactly the same.

_The End_


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